From the outside looking in he’s like any other 11 year old. You imagine he has lots of friends, has the confidence and cheek most 11 year olds possess and can understand everything that is said to him. That is from the outside looking in. From the inside looking out, it couldn’t be more wrong because this 11 year old was bullied for 3 years and only has 1 friend. He has Asperger’s Syndrome and nobody knows what’s going on inside except me, I’m this 11 year old! Asperger’s syndrome is an Autistic Spectrum Disorder which means my brain works differently. Not wrong, not strangely, just differently.
On the outside, people expect me to remember things just because something is done often or for a long time. On the inside, I find it tough remembering, I forget things very quickly but can remember when someone gives me a little prompt.
On the outside, adults assume I can follow instructions easily because others my age can. On the inside, I need to be told exactly what to do and I take instructions literally. This means I get things wrong and you need patience with me. I need to be told how to tidy up in easy steps and need to have my homework divided into subjects and given time limits to complete them.
On the outside, people think I’m being difficult when I’m unable to answer questions, or make decisions. Whereas on the inside, I panic when I have to make decisions, even about things that only affect me. For example what to wear when I have no school or what to eat if given a choice. I find answering questions very difficult and will usually answer “I don’t know” or “I don’t mind” to prevent me from having to make a decision.
On the outside, people see me in a group of others my age and think I have lots of friends, on the inside, no one in this group is talking to me and I’m simply hoping they will! I’ve never been invited to a birthday party and I usually spend my break times at school walking around the perimeter of the playground.
On the outside, people might see me taking over other peoples work or games, maybe causing trouble. On the inside, it really makes me annoyed and panic if things aren’t done correctly. I feel I need to do it my way.
On the outside people hear background music or soft voices chattering quietly. On the inside I hear deafening noise. Noise that causes me so much pain I get very upset very quickly.
Maybe now when you look at someone, instead of just seeing the outside, it’s important to imagine what it’s like for them. Do they mean “I don’t know,” or do they not have the communication skills others have? Is making a decision the most difficult task in the world? Are they being difficult when they don’t do something right or do they need the most basic instruction explained more clearly? Do they need telling off for not remembering something or do they need people to understand just because they do something often, does not mean they remember about it next time? These are questions we all need to ask when we meet someone because we need to understand it can be very different when we are outside looking in.
